Thanksgiving is supposed to be a holiday full of delicious food and warmth spent in the company of your family. However, such family occasions have the potential to become emotionally charged and explode, leading to fights, yelling, and even banishment. Yup, banishment. Usually, it’s safe to say that fights start when someone mentions politics or religion. But sometimes, arguments can be sparked by… a pair of glasses.
One internet user turned to Imgur for help because he got himself in quite a pickle after standing up for his girlfriend in front of her mother. Her demanding mom told her to remove her glasses for a photo and this distressed her because she sees her glasses as an inseparable part of her identity.
When her boyfriend defended her and told her mom that they won’t be doing any of this, an argument broke out. The result? Imgur user Silverpattern0112 was banished from his girlfriend’s family and is now sifting through tens and hundreds of pieces of advice on the best way to deal with the situation.
An Imgur user turned to the internet for help with a delicate situation…
…and it involves Thanksgiving, his girlfriend, her mother, as well as a pair of glasses
People had different advice to offer the Imgurian. Some suggested that the couple get their own apartment to live in to help the girlfriend escape her controlling mother. Others exclaimed that the boyfriend did everything right by standing his ground and not giving in to emotional manipulations. While still others joked that Silverpattern0112 should make comments about his girlfriend’s mother’s appearance every time she criticized her daughter.
Relationships are hard, especially when you factor in your partner’s family. Dan Bacon writes on The Modern Man that if your girlfriend’s (or boyfriend’s) parents don’t like you, it’s not always your fault: there are some parents who will look for any excuse to blame you or anyone who’s different from them.
According to Bacon, there are some common mistakes that people do when communicating with their partner’s parents and it’s easy to avoid them. For example, when you meet your partner’s parents the first few times, you shouldn’t match their coldness or hostility with rudeness—that will only make things worse.
On the other hand, you shouldn’t put up with bad behavior for a long time; you deserve to be treated with dignity and if you tolerate their rudeness for a long time, it’s clear that they don’t and won’t respect you. In other words, if they’re rude, don’t be rude back, but don’t tolerate their rudeness forever.
Another thing to avoid is forcing your partner to choose between you or their parents. It’s a mistake and isn’t fair to them because you’re telling them to pick either their current family or a potential future family.
Do you have any other advice to help people deal with their loved ones’ parents? What do you think people should do if they’re disliked by their gf or bf’s parents? Share your thoughts with us in the comments, dear Pandas.